High School

Which sentence should be revised to reduce wordiness?

A. People live with a general expectation of privacy, not considering how thoroughly their daily actions are monitored and recorded by various devices.

B. People don't often consider how thoroughly their activities are monitored and recorded.

C. People live with a general expectation of privacy, but in reality, their daily actions are being monitored and recorded by various devices.

D. Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in many businesses, including banks and retail stores, occurs.

Answer :

Final answer:

Option A should be revised to reduce wordiness, as it contains redundant phrases that can be simplified. Conciseness improves clarity in writing. Options B and C are more straightforward and less wordy.


Explanation:

Reducing Wordiness in Sentences

Wordiness in writing often makes sentences longer than necessary, which can obscure the message and lead to confusion. To determine which sentence from the options provided should be revised for conciseness, we need to look for redundancy and unnecessary phrases.

  1. Option A: "People live with a general expectation of privacy, not considering how thoroughly their daily actions are monitored and recorded by various devices." This sentence contains several phrases that could be streamlined without losing meaning.
  2. Option B: "People don't often consider how thoroughly their activities are monitored and recorded." This sentence is already quite concise and direct.
  3. Option C: "People live with a general expectation of privacy, but in reality their daily actions are being monitored and recorded by various devices." This version is relatively clear, yet it can be made more succinct.
  4. Option D: "Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in many businesses, including banks and retail." This option seems incomplete and lacks clarity, making it difficult to judge its wordiness.

Among these, Option A is the most wordy due to phrases like "general expectation of privacy" and "daily actions are monitored and recorded by various devices," which can be simplified without losing meaning. Thus, it should be revised to enhance clarity and conciseness.


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