Answer :
Final answer:
The revised thesis statement is more concise: "This thesis centers on Disney's Inside Out." This change maintains the original meaning while removing unnecessary words to enhance clarity. Clarity and conciseness are vital in effective writing.
Explanation:
Revised Thesis Statement
The original sentence, "This thesis statement is based on Disney's Inside Out," can be made more concise. We can state: "This thesis centers on Disney's Inside Out." This revision maintains the meaning while eliminating unnecessary words.
Example of Clarity in Writing
Conciseness is key in effective writing. By reducing verbosity, readers more easily grasp the main point being discussed. For instance, if we were to say, "The primary focus of this thesis is the film titled Disney's Inside Out," it's longer than necessary compared to the revised version.
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