Answer :
The journal entry provided demonstrates issues with run-on sentences, improper punctuation, and verbose phrasing. It requires revisions for clearer sentence structure, correct punctuation, and concise language to improve readability and coherence.
Effective writing requires not only clear ideas but also good sentence structure and appropriate punctuation. The journal entry needs improvement to enhance readability and coherence. For instance, the sentence 'If writing by hand, you can double space so when you proofread and want to cross out confusing sentences or misspellings or add left out words or examples, you will have room and won't risk confusing your reader.' could be split into more manageable parts by saying 'If writing by hand, consider double spacing. This approach provides room to cross out confusing sentences, correct misspellings, and add omitted words or examples during proofreading. As a result, it helps avoid potential confusion for your reader.'
Moreover, punctuating complex sentences correctly helps in conveying the intended meaning without ambiguity. A sentence like 'The experiment was a success, my lab partners and I were pleased with the results.' contains a comma splice and would benefit from a period or a semicolon, e.g., 'The experiment was a success. My lab partners and I were pleased with the results.' Additionally, in analyzing sentence structure, a variety of sentences in terms of length and complexity should be used to maintain a reader's interest. Eliminating unnecessary words to maintain a concise style is also crucial. This not only saves the reader's time but also clarifies the message.
In conclusion, revising for clear sentence structure, proper punctuation, and eliminating unnecessary verbosity is essential to prevent reader fatigue and to ensure clarity of the message.
